If your not a fan of comicbooks, you may find it corny, preachy, and just a bit infantile. But if you DO like comicbooks, it's a feel good summer action flick, wherein plenty of Nazi's are punched. How can you go wrong with that?
No, seriously. A movie starlet that is attractive. I know it's crazy right?
Captain America follows the tale of upright young man Steve Rogers (Chris Evans), a scrawny and unhealthy kid from Brooklyn who badly wants to volunteer to serve his country in WW2. Unfortunatly he weighs 90 lbs, has bad health, and asthma. So despite volunteering multiple times under various psuedonyms (illegally), he is countinually declared 4f - unfit for service due to physical inadequacy.
Mein Gott!
Trimspa baby
Obviously, as this Trim-Spa before and after photo shows, the process works - CGI'd weakling Steve Rogers becomes an un-cgi'd Adonis, suitable for kicking Nazi ass seven ways from sunday. Sadly, an enemy saboteur sent by Secret Nazi weapons division 'Hydra' assasinates Erskine even as Rogers stumbles all he-manly from his science tube and detonates a bomb in the facility, destroying Erskine's research and leaving Rogers as the one and only Captain America.
America, Fuck Yeah
Unwilling to risk such a valuable investment and realizing only one soldier can't win a war, no matter how badass, Captain America is turned into a propoganda tool. The rest of the movie follows his journey from USO warbonds chorus girl to genuine action hero, which it tells in a light hearted and non-preachy fashion.
I'm not sure guys but I think he's the villain
Opposing 'Cap' is the aforementioned Hydra, led by too-evil-for-the-Nazi's super crazy Johaan Schmidt (Hugo Weaving), a german occult researcher who forcibly took an early form of Erskine's serum, becoming the powerful and disfigured (and mad) Red Skull, who seeks out ancient magical Norse macguffinry (explained in the Thor movie, countinuity yay!) to create superweapons so he can not only defeat the allies but overthrow Hitler and rule the world as a god.
Which brings me to the crux of my review: How come the Zombie always got to be the villain, Marvel?
Look, lets just get the elephant out of the room right now. We all know The Red Skull is supposed to be a zombie. Just look at him. Hell, Stan Lee's entire career has been based on writing stories about Alters poorly disguised as superhero's, and I have it on good authority Stan himself is in the closet about being one.
Stan Lee: Loving Father, Caring Husband, Secret Elf.
And I appreciate that the vast majority of Marvel's characters are positive rolemodels for the Alter community, and positive symbols for society at large that Alters are not it's enemy. Hell, arguably, Marvel has done more for the good image of Alter's in popular culture than even those atrocious Twilight novels.
I don't care if they have a positive message for vampires the books are still shit and the movies are worse
But time and time again, it's always the Zombie whose the villain. Why? Because we look different? It's not our fault. It's unethical and unpopular to villify people of different skin pigmentations, why is it different for zombies?
Look, I know your just going with continuity. You made the movie out of the source material you were given. But just once i'd like to see a story where the zombie is the hero, or at least, not the villain. Is that too much to ask? We've pretty much only got one go-to positive zombie figure left.
Brains,
Alfred Zeddington
If you'd like to learn more about Alter's read Jeremy Varner's psuedo-fictional novel, Shards of Glass, Availible digitally from Amazon, Smashworld, BN, and Diesel.
And feel free to join the Alter's United Support Group on facebook.
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